Thursday, December 22, 2011

Pulling the Slacker Till THEY Strangle

I’m going to go on record with the opinion that slackers need to be tied up to the back of a Buick (ANY Buick) and dragged for hours until they promise to cut out the crappy non work ethic! It’s been a long, long, long time since I’ve been a slacker; so to make sure my observations of the current situation weren’t me just being obsessively oversensitive about my own work habits and bitterness (I’ve had a hard time lately with temp jobs full of people who aren’t lifting their end and getting HIRED on just the same….) I looked up the word slacker at, one of my favorite sites ever.

1.  a person who evades his or her duty or work; shirker.
2.  a person who evades military service.
3. an especially educated young person who is antimaterialistic, purposeless, apathetic, and usually works in a dead-end job.


The main reason I despise slackers (yes, despise and no, I’m not being dramatic….more on that later) is because they are generally surrounded by dozens of other people who aren’t, you know slacking. They don’t feel bad or wrong about being paid to do as little as possible. They don’t feel bad about letting other people pick up their part of the work load, while they stare into space or wonder aimlessly. And they KNOW what they are doing! And most annoying of all, they generally get away with it, because these people have the charm to ‘get by’. They don't care how tired you are or about the fact that they are getting away with schlepping around.

I’ve slacked. We’ve all slacked. We’ve all tried at some point in life, and generally more than many times, to get a lot of something for nothing. Think about the times in life where you were either getting paid money, or getting paid in goods for some task. You become distracted, either out of boredom or because you just wanted a moment. So, instead of clearing your mind and completing the task you are being paid for, you do something else that involves random nothingness. It happens!

People who slack on the daily are able to smooth talk their way into people’s graces. They’ve done it many times and are used to people just accepting the behavior. “He’s / She’s so nice!” They seem so interesting those first few weeks.  They are generally smart and warm. They are usually everyone’s friend! Often time, what ends up happening, is down the line, they just become “that guy / girl who doesn’t do much….” They last for years and often aren’t ‘talked to’ about their behavior, because that’s just the way it is…

However, as you mature, you start to realize that doing more and getting paid for it, feels…well… good. You worked hard for what you have and you’re proud. So, you stop slacking. However, there are people who don’t age that way. Part of becoming mature means you become less selfish, less self involved. There are people who remain slackers for life. We call them Losers. We find these people sad, embarrassing… What do we feel about young slackers? We think they're funny! Which ...they aren't.  Maybe we think young slackers are funny because we believe, “Oh, they’ll grow out of it…” But, we’ve seen that this doesn’t always happen. I love  babies and toddlers as much as the next sappy mommy wanna be, however, I don't want them slacking around with me at work while I break my butt and they take their time, intentionally wasting time and getting paid for it!

I despise slackers because I realize something every time I have to endure one. I realize that I don’t want to be on the receiving end of some slacker’s boredom trip! I don’t want to be the one who gets to board the airplane of some slacker pilot who naps in the cock pit. I don’t want to be the one who gets that one bad jar of spaghetti sauce, because some slacker ‘stepped away for a cigarette early, because they couldn’t hold out another minute for anyone’. I don’t want to be in the front seat, operating a car whose breaks slip, because the slacker tech was too busy surfing the net.  

The worst thing about slackers, they are equal opportunity. I despise slackers because there is danger that can be had. Now, the little dumpy job I do now is NOTHING (security wise) compared to the ones listed above, but the concept is transferable.  

The second worst thing about slackers is that, when you complain to another person, (even someone with some power) there is generally nothing they can do. Slackers just seem to be blessed with the option to slip through the cracks.Their selfish, ignorant behavior is appeased for much longer than it should be. (How many times have you heard that so and so, up in whatever department finally got the boot? You say to yourself and the person who told you, "Really....geez he / she was here for like eight years and did nothing! How did that happen?" It takes time to unload a slacker!

So, how do you combat the annoyance of dealing with a slacker? How do you avoid griping about them and get on with your work? How do you maybe get them to grow up? For once, I have no suggestions. Slackers are everywhere! All you can do is avoid ritualistically attempting to murder them. And, wish me luck!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Mean Old Junk Yard Dog

I recently came to a conclusion. Mean people suck dirty pond water and I plan to avoid giving them any more of my time.

I was recently at Albertsons Grocery Store, in the bbq sauce section. The bbq sauce was on sale and so I was there staring at all the store had to offer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the manager staring at me. I looked over at him. I’ve seen him many times. I’ve been going to that store for almost ten years.

“Are you finding everything you need?” He asked cheerily.

“Yes, I am. Thank you,” I responded with equal ebullience. 

He walked away and I went back to contemplating all the things I could smother in bbq sauce for the least amount of money.

An older woman wondered by. Let’s call her Mean Old Junk Yard Dog.  I watched out of the corner of my eye as she first stared at a list in her hand and then at the shelf before her. (Yes, I use my peripheral vision quite a bit….You never know when you will be kidnapped. Staring out the corner of my eye gives me about three seconds warning. I’ve clocked it.)

Anyway, the manager asked her, “Can I help you find anything?” And she said…

“You don’t care what I what…”

I. Was. Floored….

Now, as per general, I’m usually surprised by what would seem to be common everyday things to other people. I’m surprised when I enjoy my dinner. I’m generally shocked when I am not tired at the end of a day, when I thought I would be. There are many ‘little’ things that bring me surprise. However, in this case, I was floored by the fact that someone would actually have the audacity to be such an off putting jerk in public, especially toward someone who was offering assistance! I was poised to say something rude and get myself arrested, when I heard the sound of little glass jars hitting the floor. A couple of people behind me had knocked over a relish and pickle display. Since I’m also easily distracted, I ended up not remembering to tell Mean Old Junk Yard Dog off!

When I got home, I found myself livid once I remembered Mean Old Junk Yard. It made me realize that this woman had gotten away with her horrible behavior and she would get away with it again, later… The question is why? Why did she think it was ‘ok’ to say something like that? I’ve concluded that it is because other people have allowed her to do so. People who are her friends and family have given her the opportunity to be this way. And the older she grows the worse it will get.

And don’t mistake blunt or direct with mean! Even tactlessness can’t compare. So, how can you tell the difference?

Well, for one, bluntness or directness usually develops out of an attempt to answer something (usually a question or idea) that is offered with a certain amount of openness. The bluntness or directness is usually an attempt by someone to be logical and forward. Sometimes this approach is appreciated by other people, because it’s refreshing and trustworthy. Direct or forward people make us all remember that holding back an opinion isn’t always a good thing. Directness can sometimes cause you to giggle, because it’s unexpected in a sometimes pleasant way. Direct and blunt are often off the cuff, spontaneous.

Meanness is often designed to hurt or cut.  Mean people who act on the instinct to say or do mean things, generally have a reservoir of meanness to express. You aren’t catching them off guard; they are catching you off guard! They wait for moments to dig into you… They are just filled with hatred inside.

Most mean people tend to feel and express negativeness about many people or things. This is because they are so dissatisfied with who they are, whatever they’ve become that they believe they can’t fix what’s in them, so they express their simmered vengeance on other people.

We all know at least one mean person. Sometimes we marry into their family, or we’ve been so called friends for years, or we work with them. What should you do if a mean person happens to sniper shoot you unexpectedly? The typical response we make to a Mean Old Junk Yard Dog is either silence or a pained expression. Anything you do that isn’t retaliatory is basically a gesture of “Please, walk all over me again!” Instead, turn the gun around! Your next Mean Old Junk Yard Dog conversation should end in smiles. For example:

                Mean Old Junk Yard Dog: (Full of piss and vinegar) Don’t tell me you are going to wear that old thing again…

                You: (Full of glee) Yep!

                MOJYD: I’ve always thought it was ugly…

                You: (With smiles that could dim the sun) Well, then it’s a pretty good thing you don’t have to wear it!

Feel free to use that whenever you want. And…You’re welcome! 

Monday, September 21, 2009

All You Need Is Love...?

Love. The mere sound of the word evokes warmth. Spoken slowly, it endears itself to the speaker and to whom it is spoken. I honestly believe that Love can figuratively  make the world go 'round. (For a few minutes anyway.) People do crazy and logical things for love. Technically, you can't live on it. At some point, you will get hungry or need new clothes, shoes, or sleep.

Love has levels. There's sweet love, pure love, friendly love, patient love... There's the more stressful love like unrequited love, lustful love, jealous/envious love. There's obligated love. It's the only emotion that has extremes. Yes, I know! We may 'believe' that love should ALWAYS be pure, but let's face it, that's not true. Passion is love at it's heights, yet it's still adoration of a sort. All love is adoration. If you lack the adoration (even warped, angry adoration)  only then is it not love. If there is a want, a desperate need, even if it's a selfish, at the cost of all-those-who-breath kind of feeling, it's still Love. Hate, doesn't have this kind of maturity of form. Hate is all about, well, hate. Bliss, as pretty as that word sounds, doesn't cover the range that Love covers.

When we Love someone, something, we pour time into it; (and Love doing so) we give of ourselves in ways we'd never give, if we didn't Love the someone or something. We remember it always and disloyalty isn't an option. We sometimes run away from Love, because we think we're protecting ourselves, when the truth of the matter is that we often run, because we are frightened by the possibility of being consumed by Love, even a little tiny bit of Love.

And there in lies a gigantic problem. Running from love is something we may do with anyone or anything. We run from love with a partner and sometimes we run from love of ourselves. Sometimes, we get so angry that other people love other things or people, that we become bitter because we don't love something that much, however, the thoughts of loving something that much is too traumatizing to imagine for ourselves! This is why it's always, always bothered me when I hear people say something like, "To find the right people (wife, husband, friends, job, boyfriend, girlfriend, house, dog) you HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF!"

I find this nonsensical because we never tell people how to do this! We insist on it, but we act like this feat is simple, in a world where people run or race for Love that may or way not be.

Love, at all it's levels, isn't simple to endure when it comes to other people. Sometimes people 'test' our Love for them, by doing things (intentionally or not) that will cause us to rethink our connection with such a person. There are plenty of people who separate or divorce people they still love madly, because of an indiscretion. They may separate out of practicality, over a promise of broken vows. But, once the separation happens, Love does NOT go away. It lingers.

Sometimes people Love us, who we don't Love back. We think to ourselves, "Why do they want me? I don't want them..." We can't make ourselves Love someone at random, even if they are the nicest, kindest, most worthy being imaginable. If loving anyone were that simple, everyone would be a couple, end of story.

If it's sometimes difficult to Love others that we have made a vow to love, and difficult to Love someone who we haven't made a vow to, then how in the world can we Love ourselves to the fullest degree? How can we endure someone who loves themselves if we can't deal with the examples of Love in our lives?

Now, I KNOW there are people who love themselves fully. They lead happy productive lives, surrounded by other people who love them, and love themselves as well. But, there is the crooks.  You have to be surrounded by people who are CAPABLE of Loving themselves. You have to be in an environment that allows you to be perfectly fine with the way Love feels. If you find yourself feeling sad or not special before your friends eyes, if you feel less of person around your friends,  if you find yourself walking way form them feeling like who you are isn't good enough, then you aren't going to be able to love yourself. DON'T ignore those feelings! What those feelings are telling you is that you are currently immersing yourself in an environment that won't be conducive to loving yourself.

The way to LOVE yourself is to FIND PEOPLE WHO ALSO LOVE THEMSELVES! You'll know who these people are, because they will find nothing but love in you! They will give you their time; they will find ways to encourage you toward positive goals even without your mentioning them; they will listen to what you have to say; they will give you critical feedback that doesn't hurt, but is honest; you won't need to constantly prove yourself to people who already love themselves, because they would have already seen the little sparks in you that prove to them that you are worthy of love; and they will find ways to make you feel special every time you're with them... When you leave their presence, the only sadness you'll feel is that your time with them has ended.  People who love themselves, will shower you with Love, because the love they feel for themselves will be in such abundance that they want to give it away and never fear running out of it!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Bad Karma or Bad Decision Making?

I've given some thought lately to the whole karma deal and I have come to a few realizations. I'm an atheist/ spiritualist. (a belief I define as not putting faith in god, gods, goddesses, or higher powers, however, I have seriously strong belief in Universe, a highly concentrated glob of kinetic energy that binds us all together. This Universe of Kinetic Energy does not have a definition for good, evil, indifferent or other. The Universe simply sees things 'as is'. It's humans who assert the additives of good and or evil...but I digress....) In my belief system, the thoughts of bad people being punished and good people being rewarded has become nonsensical. 
There is no such thing as an all good, all bad person. People react to a situation by way of character development. This can be a responsible character or an irrational character or a dependent character...etc. It's created by childhood, mostly, and by the way others treat us early in life. If a person spends the better part of their childhood being spoiled or not being asked to work for things, chances are going to be quite high that this person won't actually grow into a person who believes that they need to work for survival,  people's love and trust or to make a statement in life. If a person grows up constantly having to protect themselves from being emotionally damaged, then chances are that this person will grow up to believe that they will need to avoid people to keep from being damaged again or they will grow up believing that they need need to work very hard for people's love and trust.
Situations that call for us to make decisions based on honesty, integrity or ethics tend to have a two fold out come. The blending of emotionality and logical thought can bring about a confusing outcome. For example: Suppose I was left $10 on my desk at work. Suppose someone I did not know, came by and causally took the money. Is this person 'bad' for taking the money. I say not. Taking the money is a result of other things happening in this persons mind. Maybe they had no money and couldn't pass up the chance, maybe they took the money with the thoughts of returning it later, and maybe they took the money because they thought luck has shone upon them and they saw it as a gift. My take is that the person leaving the money should have been a little more aware that the possiblity of the money could be taken. Does leaving the money exposed make someone naive? Maybe the person leaving the money expected to return sooner rather than later, maybe the person leaving the money left it out because they were distracted and meant to relocate the money, and maybe the money was left because the person couldn't fathom something being stolen from their work place. I'm saying that both sides could have put more thought into their actions.
This brings me back to the situation of karma. In my scenario, the person losing the money could be experiencing karma. The person taking the money might then lose it. Is this karma? What if the person taking the money, tripped and broke their arm after taking the money. Is this 'karma' as well? Some even say that if something horrible happens to someone after they do a 'bad' thing, it's called instant karma. I have to wonder if this instant karma, reaping what you sow, getting your comeuppance has more to do with humans assigning emotionality to something that logically has no weight or basis in reality!
Instead of assigning situations as karmic, maybe we can be more aware of how bad a decision it is to leave $10 on your desk. Guilt often keeps us participating in situations that we know are wrong but it 's still a bad decision to take something from someone knowing that it's not yours. In the end, if you are found out, people will think badly of it, no matter what the excuse. The idea that karma is going to 'get' someone keeps us from realizing that people do things that are unbecoming, but they also do things that are wonderful. Depending on karma keeps us from growing, because if we expect someone to pay for their sins, and we aren't able to 'see' the person getting theirs can often cause mental stress. Learning how to see that logic and reason are the writers of your destiny and not karma will keep the ideas of waiting for things to happen at bay.

Friday, September 11, 2009

What is the ture definition of 'human being'?

human being

1. any individual of the genus Homo, esp. a member of the species Homo sapiens.
2. a person, esp. as distinguished from other animals or as representing the human species: living conditions not fit for human beings; a very generous human being.

(Definition provided by )

I cut and paste the above definition from . (I love that place!) The definition is accurate as far as
physically explaining what humans are and as far as what space human beings occupy in this life. However, being human as a species isn't all we're made up of, or is it? Is 'being' human good enough when it comes to fulfilling the role of living on this planet? Are these the only requirements and responsibilities of being human? Is everything else we think about, achieve or strive for (or avoid doing) just mere bonus, par for the course? Or, because we've been given the ability to feel and hurt and enjoy, are we supposed to be 'nice' or share or hate or love?

There are people out there who live a lifetime not knowing who they are or searching for who they are. Some don't care who they are. They are just fine with 'being'. They spend their years on emotional autopilot doing what other people tell them to do, or doing what they think they are supposed to do or they do nothing at all and let others take care of them. On the other end of scale, there are people who strive to become 'more' spiritually, intellectually, or monetarily, as if just 'being human' and fulfilling the physicality of it, is less. There are people who run into walls trying to achieve something they think they are supposed to achieve, never realizing that maybe there was no point in trying to achieve such a thing at all! Most of us battle with each other, or with our ourselves over what it's meant to be a human being.

This means there are two separate issue to contend with. Our physical and our mental being. Are we meant to explore both or is the mental stuff just a bonus?

We are all endowed (supposedly) with the ability to know what's right and what's wrong. But, that trait isn't physical. It's emotional. As human beings we are all supposedly given the ability to express emotions, which is what sets us apart from our pets. If that's true, then why are there criminals? Why are there murders? Why are there people who do wrong and bad things who may or may not regret it? Why are there people who are actually born with mental imbalances that impair their judgment and ability to know what is majority rules wrong?

Most people agree that Hilter was pretty dern awful. Idi Amin, Saddam Hessian, Osama Bin Laden, the list is pretty massive, were all terrible people and if anyone believes in a place of damnation, most people will agree that all of them should be there. However, from each of these people's twisted, backward, selfish view point, they felt they were doing the world a gigantic favor by being alive and doing the awfulness they wrought. But, then you have Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. another long list of people who thought that altruism and extension of self through others was the way the world should exist. They spent their lives giving all of themselves to a world in hopes that it would be better for everyone. All of these people bad and good, are human like the rest of us, yet a more diverse group you couldn't create! But, why is that? Both groups thought themselves correct. Can we all be right?

I have realized something. There is no perspective when it comes to being human. It just is. We are at will to contend with our factor specs. For example: My computer came with a monitor, key board, mouse and tower containing hard drive. If I had wanted speakers, a printer, a desk to put it all on or a mouse pad, I would need to go out and 'add' those on to the list.

You are flesh and blood, that's pretty much it. Anything else you 'add' to yourself, is simply a bonus.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

What is your faith worth?

I'm an atheist. I don't believe in god, gods, goddesses, or Big Ghostly Higher Powers. I don't believe we are punished for what we think. I believe we are judged by our actions, not by a higher power, but by each other. There is nothing wrong with judging people if you have been given evidence to make a judgment. Prejudice is not right, because you are choosing to judge someone or thing or idea from pre-consieved ideas. We hirer people we believe to be accurate with this ability. They are called judges.

Most people aren't able to judge. They either feel guilty about it or they don't wait to get enough info before judging. Sometimes people don't like to hear the truth, so they avoid judging. I believe in self judgment. I also believe in the Universe. I believe that what you think, can and will 'become' a reality. I see this as spirituality.

I enjoy it when someone asks me why I am atheist. I like explaining how I came to this conclusion through logical thought, reading and spiritual experience. I do not enjoy it when an atheist tells me that the reason they are atheist is because someone they loved died and now they blame God.

Don't get me wrong. Everyone is free to believe what they want, for whatever reason they want. However, my personal opinion is that faith isn't about emotion. It's about logic.

Life can be difficult, messy, mean, crude, disheartening and painful. It can also be fun, fulfilling, rewarding, fruitful and fascinating. But, this all depends on how we interact with it. Are you the type of person that makes things happen? Does sitting around waiting for things to happen make you cringe? Or, are you the type that needs direction from an outside source to get things going? Do you need a reason to live?

I don't believe life is guided by anything. I think life is pointless, but in a good, Do It Yourself way. Life is like a big empty drawing book. It's your job to go get the crayons or pens or colored chalk you need to create the pictures. If you don't bother going out and getting the crayons, pens or chalk, because you think someone else should bring them to you, then you are going to be rudely awaken one day. That wake up call WILL be painful. If someone dies, you lose your job, the love of your life runs off, your friends treat you like crap...etc; and you have no way to handle it, then you will be traumatized, emotionally by what 'life' hasn't seemed to offer.

Aren't the times where we have been so lost, and in so much pain the times where we should all feel closer to our god, or our faith? Apparently this isn't true for some people. For some people, faith is all about some Janet Jackson song, "What have you done for me lately?" Faith is nothing more than a reason to ask for things or to ask for a good life. By basing our faith in the basis of logic, we are better able to understand why our life might not be ideal. We, even more, understand WHY we believe instead of simply coming up with the buzz word, "Because. It just feels right."

Remember, just because it feels good, doesn't make it reliable. If you have the back up of logic and thought to support you, then in those times when life is most emotional, you will have foundation on which to land .

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Are Tech Savvy People More Prone to Thoughtlessness?

The idea that people are very thoughtless these days shouldn't be a shock. I believe technology allows us to avoid general intimacies. By general intimacies, I mean the social interaction between humans in the service industry. For example: Many of the grocery stores in my area have added 'automated' teller checkout stations to the front of their stores. This ensures that you don't need to 'deal' with a live human to ring up your things, thus eliminating the possibility of the smallest amount of human interaction. The only reason a human needs to interact with you, is if you need to authorize your age OR something went wrong with your transaction.

Some appeal for me with the machines is that: 1) The machine doesn't ask you how your day was, 2) the machine doesn't chat it up with the customer ahead of you, 3) the machine doesn't verbally kidnap you and tell you about their day even if you appear to be in a hurry, and 4) the machine doesn't give you 'attitude' for using a check. The machine generally ends your transaction with a "Thank you for shopping at (insert store name)"

I enjoy these machines! Not because I am antisocial to the extent that I don't need human interaction. I prefer this method of check out, because I don't need to deal with the above noted comments on what these machines DON'T do. And just to clarify, I don't mind people asking me about my day or on the other way around. Sometimes, I actually care and want to know how a person's day went . It is very polite to ask, but it should be viewed as a nicety. In other words, it shouldn't be my chance (or someone elses chance) to unload my (their) emotional baggage of the day on someone who was being polite. Also, I don't mind people chatting up other people. But don't do it if I'm the one behind you and we're in a service, customer situation!

Automated machines are just one example of how society is inadvertently cutting out interactions between humans. Because of this, people don't know how to communicate with each other. We don't know how to 'read' or track other people's attitudes.

There was a time when great customer service was something you simply expected. There wasn't ever a question about how your call would be handled, how your complaint would be addressed. Even getting gas used to be full service. Someone would come out, ask you what kind of gas you wanted and you'd tell them. (There are still a few east coast states that still do things that way.) Now, you have to have something physically wrong with you to get an attendant to pump your gas.

And what about the days where you'd walk into a store and if you seemed confused, someone would ask you if you need help. Try that at Best Buy or Staples these days. You WILL wait till the sky turns red and still be waiting to be 'helped'. And what about food service? Remember the days where if you didn't eat ALL the food on your plate, wait staff would take the time to ask why? What was once common, is now something we think never really was....

The advancement of the cell phone has allowed us as humans to cut off that part of ourselves that used to like writing letters. It's cut off that part of us that used to be in tuned to how a customer, how each of us is thinking. It's cut off part of our humanity.

Remember you have a voice and a heart. Remember that intuition inside of you that recognizes other people's pain. You were born of a human, of this earth. We are all linked. Once you lose that part of you that senses outside itself, it is almost impossible to regain.